Comparison. Self worth. Anxiety. Running away from your problems. What is it? What is it that’s stopping you from enjoying the now, from simply being you? Those are all things that we’re stopping me. I never felt fulfilled, I was always searching for the next best thing and let me tell you it was exhausting.
It honestly makes me sad when I think about the girl I was. I seemed happy, like I had my shit together, but I was lost. I didn’t know who I was, so I kept filling my life with more stuff, more hobbies, more work, to ultimately feel more and more lost. Until one day, I asked myself when is this going to stop? When is it going to be enough? And guess what, I had no answer, there was no end, until now!
Counseling took me on a journey of finding myself, finding my passions, finding out who Mariah is, what Mariah wants and hunny, I ran with it.
I’ve always been someone who loved the idea of minimalism, but just having less stuff wasn’t totally working for me, my home was clutter free but I’d always fall into the trap of needing more? That’s when I started researching about intentional living. “Intentional living means understanding your fundamental beliefs and values, and then actively living your life in line with those values.” Sounds a lot like designing the life you want to live, right?
After all the clutter was out of the way, mentally and physically, I started adding things that truly fulfilled me, that brought me inspiration, that allowed me to live my best life. And once I realized that I had the power to choose to only add those things back into my life, is when my life really started to turn around.
Once I was able to focus on only things that were meant for me and my life, I then wasn’t scared to just be. Believe it or not, I actually started to thrive on just being. I realized I recharge on alone time and that most of my anxiety was coming from me not allowing myself to detox from over stimulating situations and to fill back up with calmness and stillness. I now understand the boundaries I need and deserve. Honestly, I now know who Mariah is.
Don’t get me wrong, there are still days I have an inner dialogue on, “What does Mariah really want? Are you sure? Is that what you’re thinking or what you think you should be thinking?” For those of you who have been reading my blogs, yes I still sometimes accidentally should on myself. My bad. BUT, I’m human. We still have our struggles. We still have our bad days. But guess what boo, we get to decide what we allow to affect us on our bad days, we get to decide what we are going to deem a struggle or what we are going to shrug off and say, “I’m human, this is life, things won’t always be perfect, but I am okay with that”.
I hope today and everyday you remember you have the power to design the life you want to live. What is worth getting stressed about? What things make you happy, bring you joy, inspire you? What do you need to make time for to make you be the best version of yourself? Whatever your answers are, do that, for you, because you deserve the best!